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  • Writer's pictureHappiness in Handfulls


Disappointment. We are all human and humans deal with every emotion including disappointment. But, before you live another minute, I am here to tell you that there is a way to live without it, or more realistically live without a substantial amount of it.

What plays with us most in life is not what happens, it is what we think is supposed to happen. Expectation is the root of all disappointment. Setting expectations too high can cause unneeded stresses and can lead to negativity. It also can lead to low self-esteem and low confidence. Now, from what I just said that seems to say that we shouldn't live with expectations…

I have a friend who always lived with a motto of “no expectations”. He never wanted people to have high expectations of him because he didn't want the pressure of having anyone think he would do something and not do it. You may be thinking of a person with low confidence, or no success, but actually he was the opposite. He was sure in his words and opportunities for success came his way with ease. The no expectation lifestyle was something he adapted to, unselfishly, to make sure he didn't hurt others. He didn't want to lead anyone to disappointment.

This mentality worked for him and honestly it worked for me. As his friend, I never expected anything from him, not even the simplest things. When we first met, his no expectation vibe was so strong, I didn't even expect him to talk to me again. Every action that was sincere was unexpected, so it was almost like a surprise. It was a positive friendship, and it was rooted on no expectations. I get it, not all friendships can be this way because we cannot live completely in a no expectation world. But, your thought process can be this way. As Alexander Pope would say, “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed”.

Perfection in any field does not come from dreaming to be perfect, yet from allowing your brain to trust the actions of your body and your body to trust the knowledge of your brain.

On the soccer field, instead of expecting yourself to score, trust that your body has the physical ability to put the ball in the back of the net and trust that your brain knows which net that is. In the classroom, instead of expecting an A, trust that your body can overcome the stress and trust that your brain will be able to make connections and problem solve. At work, instead of expecting a raise, trust that your body can endure the work day and trust that your brain can put your body to the most efficient work.

The same goes for your expectations of others. Your teammates, trust that they will do what they are capable of. Your significant other, trust that what they do for you and what you do for them is genuine and honest. Your friends, trust that they are your friends, and that they will do what friends do: be there for you no matter their expectations of you or your expectations of them.

Your life, live it without expectations, because you never know, those expectations could be holding you back from something that you never would have dreamed of anyway. Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like an angry bull not charging because you are a vegetarian.

Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect, so live with no expectation of tomorrow and you will realize tomorrow is so much happier than today. Kiss disappointment goodbye, and welcome happiness, one less expectation at a time.

-Happiness in Handfulls

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